Rainy Day/INSOMNIA

Damn. IT was so nice these last days: sunny weather, fucking hot and damn it was nice. NOw its all yacky and wet again...BUt then again, if you look further in the sky- the sun is about to come out later on. So its gonna be really nice evening.

TOday is Kaarel's birthday- some heavy shit houseparty today:mhm. Can't wait.

Only damn thing is, I'm so excited of my work, Monday is the deadline and Tuesday: presentation day. I'm feeling already really really nervous. And I dunno...it seems that its quite pointless to create an social media campaign for every job you're given. Like masters of SM have said: A good social campaign deminshes a shitty product...

But, I'm not saying i've got shitty products, just that i'm in a kind of a mess right now. I can't figure out...

Soon enough, this will be over and band touring starts again, and at some point I gotta get away to amsterdam...then I'm prepared for september... Oh wait a sex...There is August between somewhere. SHIET! I guess that month will be a new tattoo month and lots of trippin' with the band and shit.

Stuff and shit is my today.

But the bigger worry that sets deeper in me is my insomnia problem. Every fucking night, I may even stay up for over 24 hours, I go to bed and finito. Nothing happens. MY head is so full of ideas about every kind of bullshit- women, work, band, buildings, chairs...just about anything, If I keep my eyes closed I start wondering around in different pictures in front of my eyes. If I open my eyes, I find just about whatever to think about.

Most of the time I'm really pissed because I can't sleep. I just can't find the inner comfort to get to sleep.

Lately I discovered earplugs. From some googled article I found out, that by creating white noise(with earplugs), you calm down and should sleep. NOP. The thoughts calm down, but still...

First of all, I breathe really fast, then I calm a bit down, and start falling asleep and then, when I'm just on the boarder of disneyland and reality FUCK HAPPENS. All these thoughts plunder from zykeswille and fuckedom breaks loose. Fuckedom is my freakin' worst nightmare. I don't sleep, but i'm really tired, I toss and turn in my huge bed and throw the pillows around like a moron. I try to sleep with my boxers, then without...I try sleeping under the blanket and then on top of...nothing seems to help.

Thank god my mom has subscriptions for some medicine...I use some, and go to sleep.

Even IF I wake up early enough, I still find it really hard to get to sleep the next night...I maybe as tired as fuck, but NO! No sleep for rauno. Its pointless...

Thats How is sit in all these social networks and try out all these widgets just to pass the time.

Offspring: "I've got a bad habit, Yeaha, yeaha, and it won't go away..."

rauno